Practical jokes

The other day we learned the word for 'prank' in Japanese. After giving us the timeless example of the pin stuck on the chair, which always struck me as a rather cruel example of the genre, Nishimura-sensei asked for examples of practical jokes we had played as children. I don't know whether I actually did this or just lifted the idea from the pages of Enid Blyton, but I tried, haphazardly, to explain the concept of an apple pie bed. It got lots of laughs, once people had understood - that kind of humour tends to appeal more than the sharper sarcasm or irony that British people seem to prefer.

Anyway, I raise the subject because, as some of you may know, I myself have been the subject of a couple of pranks recently. Anyone remember the time Facebook announced I had died? And yesterday there was a slightly strange phone call from a blocked number, with a faintly electronic-sounding American accent saying he was 'Phil Temple' and wanted to ask me some questions... I have identified the culprit, and I am fairly certain he/she isn't reading this (though I may be wrong there) but I have yet to enact my revenge. If anyone has any gems that they'd like to contribute so I can get my own back* then please do share them with me. I think this one needs something more than clingfilm over the toilet or a glass of water propped up on the door...

* This was, incidentally, one of the best kids' TV shows of the 90s, and I was in the audience, though alas, my cousin Gemma did not get to put Saracen from Gladiators in the Gunk Dunk. Actually, if anyone knows where I could get hold of a Gunk Dunk, that might work very well for what I need...